Love 4

That weird annoying Space between the seconds…

Did this other human being impact me so deeply and so greatly,

That things would happen to me not mentally, but immediately and innately?

Such that against my will I cannot breath when I hear or read his name?

Not that the breathing stops entirely, though it comes across the same…

That it seems within that unruly moment, a million years have passed

Between the last futile funny instant and the one that’s coming fast….

And within this interim lies this strange and tingling sensation

Of something I can’t control and thus, reminds me of degradation.

It’s a powerhouse of something, it’s an electric shock of nostalgia

That my body forces on me despite my moved on mental regalia.

 I really don’t understand it and it scares me to my bones

That I’ll never see it clearly; that it’s just mismatching stones.

That the pain was just too great and the love was just too small…

That the love was just too great and the pain the consequential fall.

OR maybe I just remember, a hint of a familiar feeling,

Of something that was once terrific and hilarious and healing.

Maybe I remember not the sting or the rejection

But also that idyllic good, that perpetual affection?

And my body in expectation of that awesome blissful time

Pauses the universe for one second to experience the sublime

It’s my inherent physical reaction, like the nervous system has been willed,

Against my honest wishes to recall perfection perfectly distilled.

…and god it makes me angry, and god it makes me mad

Cause I need to shed the shackles, I didn’t know I was still clad.

i just can't seem to find the right image for this.  but I'm doing this play in New Haven...a play about love...about letting go...and the ferocity of it all. magic.  Italian American Reconciliation.  Shanley, our author, has a hoard of broken hearted muses so true, so brutal, so hysterical....I wonder will I ever be courageous enough to be this stupid again? Aw...aunt may:)  Come see my play and it will all make sense:)  click here to buy tix;)