Wisdom 1

A world with no more ice cream is really no world at all.

Its like a world devoid of seasons; no summer, spring or fall.

It’s a world with no more flowers, a world with no more sun,

A world completely empty of anything truly fun,

A world that only functions, making life renew,

But without things like ice cream, it’s just a passing through.

Einstein's first act at Princeton was to buy an ice-cream cone. 

The poetry begins...

The Plight of the Panda

Or

Why Sociopaths don’t understand what they’re doing is wrong:

HALLELLUJAH! he yelled, I’m finally at peace!

Said the big panda bear eating mac n’cheese.

That’s really all I’ve wanted this live long day,

But they gave me bamBOO and told me to go away.

Unfortunately for them, my wants are much like needs,

And for me to be happy I NEED that mac n’cheese!

Maybe if they’d give it to me, I wouldn’t be so cranky.

Maybe if they’d give it to me, they’d see me much more frankly.

I thought these things with zeal for my sumptious necessary meal,

And suddenly like in a dream my wish became a charm. 

And a little boy was listening my mac m’cheesy yarn. 

My wish traveled through the air like dandelion seeds,

Into the nerdy little nose that really needed to sneeze.

So little henry james sudden like the wind he knew,

That mac n’cheese was MY calling, MY choice of whiskey brew

And thus I’m in my happy place,

Grins dapple the pictures of my face,

Cause little Henry James heard the call

That some are not like one and all

That some like things different and that’s ok.

Let’s love ‘em for being any old way!

Don’t tell them they’re CRAZY cause they’re not like you!

That’s the story henry james is telling to you!

Hey! Maybe YOU’D really like bamboo!?!?!

Good Luck finding someone to give it to you!

So this was one of the first poems I ever wrote. I hope it can be a book for kids one day.  Complete with illustrations and of course without the subtitle.  

Also,  I recently came across this video and the embodiment of my crazy panda bear came true. I'm totally psychic.  check it out: never say no to panda in the supermarket oh god and this one is even better: never say no to panda in the office

Alternate Obvious Titles...

And why they didn't make the cut:

1. The Unsanctimonious Unsuspecting Muse: it's clearly too pretentious and clearly someone's been studying for a standardized test

2. Pot Head: I wouldn't want to alienate any of the unenlightened or confuse someone so beautifully naive that they thought it was a blog regarding hats made of pots...like a cute baby picture thing. ewww.

3. A Light In the Basement: Well, frankly, where the f does the sidewalk start is better and also, it sort of sounds like a blog about pedophiles.  again.

4. Holy Toledo He's Wearing A Speedo: I didn't want to alienate any speedo lovers...every now and again, a speedo is, in fact, the appropriate attire

5. Poems by L. B.: Just a little too banal...and also, the compulsives would freak when i publish something that is not meant to be, in fact, a poem.  in other words, this title makes me feel caged. and i'm not dramatic at all, so clearly that won't fly.  You follow?

In Earnest, like in that Wilde play,

I hope you enjoy what I write every day.

I hope you smile and I hope you grin.

I hope you feel like you can and will begin,

To DO something lovely and charming and good,

and naughty and tasty, am i understood?

Take what you can take, give what you can give 

Read with great care, then get the f offline and live.

wow. weird. and that's how it happens. oh SNAP! I've started a blog...

Oscar Wilde (author of The Importance of Being Ernest)

Shel Silverstein (a god of words to me and if you don't know at least one book he authored, I suggest you get yourself to a library yesterday and then watch this sassy gay friend video!)