Jaded
I fell in love once, it was probably a big mistake
Like the belly ache you get after you eat an entire cake
Like the morning after hangover that felt like it’d never go away
Like the nun who fucked the priest who then found she couldn’t pray
Like the man who climbed the hill just to see another
Like the sister who killed herself so she could save her brother
I don’t know anymore if it’s worth it, I know it’s certainly not sane
To crave an expectation that overcomes your brain.
To crave a state of awareness so keen your bones go weak
To crave a situation in which you become the freak.
And…
I know there’s more to love than this grave apprehension
I know it’s the spice of life, it’s godly intervention
But I didn’t get it wrong that time, I once grasped at the real thing
And it shattered me to pieces, I still have a broken wing
So…
Love, you ask, love you say? Sure, I know it’s there.
But to survive it nowadays, I bargain with a sure-to-end-love care…
See, I always wear my warmers; my reflexes are nice and ready
To leap at a moment’s notice if a He is anything less than steady.
I trust my intuition. I’m generally spot on.
I preemptively always know before a He will move a pawn
So am I getting hopeful now? Is the spark not completely dead?
I do want there to be a possibility for this heartbroken head.
Oh it’s funny. Love, come on! I mused you so wittily out of existence.
But the hope of you still has me, despite my mindful sad resistance.
Love love love, love love love.
You’re the greatest thing in the world.
I will always feel most true to that
Like how naturally my hair is super curled…
creepy baby says it all...
